Sunday, January 11, 2015

WORD of the year, and why I'm looking forward to 2015!

This is always a daunting task... to choose one word that you strive for, aspire to, or just something 
you really want to focus on and make a priority. 

I have had so many words floating around in my head for the last few weeks that I've kinda felt like a pin ball machine was constantly going off in my brain.  There are just so many ways I want to improve and step it up in all areas of my life.  It's very difficult to choose just one that sums up everything I want to accomplish or do or be...


Instead of choosing just one, I am going to be ALL of them. 

This year I have the ability to be and do and accomplish anything I want.  Not totally sure why I don't think that every year but I guess it's because I will have so much more freedom in 2015 than I have ever had in my life. 

In 2014 I started the year feeling CRUSHED, my soul felt defeated by the daily grind of life.  
How sad is that to actually tell people... uhh.  I was working the retail life, which I honestly never minded (but still always complained about it, if you're in retail you're supposed to complain) I didn't mind the crazy unpredictable hours, the late nights, double shifts that sometimes were back to back, or the always having to be cheerful and helpful to the not always deserving public.  I thrived on that kind of chaos way more than working the 9 to 5 gig.

That is...I didn't mind until I had a baby.  
The unpredictable hours that hubby and I both worked meant not a lot of family time, not a lot of sleep, not a lot of lovin up on the precious chubby cheeks we brought into this world
 (or each other for that matter).  

People would always tell me that "everything will change when you have a baby". 
Usually this was thrown out there as more of a threat than a good thing. 

Not everything changed, a lot stayed the same.  What did change was my priorities and my heart.
Some of the things that I loved before were replaced with something I love so much more.

Last January I had just come off a retail Christmas, an entire season of working crazy hours that forced me to leave my baby girl at my moms house for sometimes two or three days.  Sure I could go wake her up at my moms to load her into the car, bring her home (waking her again) and put her to sleep in her own bed.  I did that a few times just to have to get her up at the crack of dawn to reverse the role and head back to work for another double shift. Seriously I can't even tell you how many times I cried to and from work. 

This is what CRUSHED my soul, and really that schedule doesn't end at Christmas for those that work retail.  Something had to give, I couldn't continue feeling like the worst mother in the world just because I had to go work. 

Enter GOD

So many times I sat in church and prayed for a way out, for a sign that something would change, that God would open a door and show me what purpose my life held besides a paycheck. 

Overtime I noticed more and more sermons about leading a life of purpose, is God the focus of your life or is something else your #1 priority, do you put your trust in God or act solely on your own accord?  

With the stubbornness that runs in these veins it took a while for me to get the hint.  I could feel God tugging on my heart trying to get me to listen but thru the fear of the uncertainly it took a lot of changes at work and very adamant husband to finally make up my mind and give my notice. 

I know some people wouldn't think twice about calling it quits and working somewhere else, but for me it was a serious leap of faith. I wasn't going anywhere else I was going home to be a mommy, to be present in my community and raise a human who will one day change the world. (talk about a high pressure job).  This change didn't fall into our carefully laid plans to get out of debt first, save up some money for property, blah...blah...blah.  In the end it was the best, most rewarding fearful decision we have ever made.  

And get this... half a year with half of a household income and the debt is (-) this close to being DONE! 

In 2014 I learned:  
  • how to leap
  • to cook
  • pinch pennys
  • tell a want vs. a need
  • washable crayons are worth the extra money
  •  we have amazing friends and family 
  • to trust that our plans are not always the best


Here's to an amazing new year and to find you what God has prepared for me. 

*Angela*

 




3 comments:

  1. May the blessings ever rain and shine on you, when you need them, and when they surprise you. Your choice has far-reaching benefits that you can't see till much, much later. I'm very happy for you!! And cheering you guys quietly in the background.

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  2. Thank you Jody. I can already see some of the benefits when I see Ava trying to comfort another child that's crying, or start to pick up a mess that someone else made in the store. It's amazing to see an adult walk down an aisle and accidentally knock things over then a two year old comes behind them to put it back in order. Granted she may not always act like an angel but most of the time she is just awesome.

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  3. Angela,
    I stumbled across your blog a couple of days ago. I enjoyed your writing, loved your photos, and frankly just liked you. Although we're very different, I found that we have a lot in common. So when I got all the way down to this post, I scrolled way back to the beginning and read the blog through post by post. I traveled through the years and months and projects and pets and baby and wishes and thoughts... It was a pleasure "getting to know you."
    Helen

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